Great Motorcycling Lies

[sfarson]

Here's a couple...

"I'll be back in a few minutes"

"We'll save money over time"

You have any?

[hunter]

That's about it on the chrome parts, honey.

[Jim Bronson]

"She just needed a lift"

[BMBITY]

I'll just run and get a gallon of milk

Really officer I only had one

Honey I just put the rear pegs down to strech my legs

[MaxxV4]

How about, "If I get this bike, it already has pretty much everything we'll ever need....."
Mike :

[02roadcling]

The 204's really need some headwork since we are both heavy people. I'll just take that for my birthday present. (didn't get anything else either. )

cling

[seattledyna]

but were only stopping by the dealer for coffee, honest!

Thats a great bike for that price...in a few years we could sell it for what we paid for it, honest!

[sfarson]

 

"Hop on, I'll take it easy"

"I actually ride better after having a few"

[Paniolo]

"I'm gonna leave it stock."

[02roadcling]

Thats all I'm doing for 1 year. You won't catch me spending another dime on it until then.
(and she didn't)

[DenverBagger]

Why did I buy a new one?

Well ... the old one was [worn out, fell off, stolen, etc.]

[ViennaHog]

I don't need a second bike, makes no sense.......

[Molly]

Laughed right through these. I've said SO many of them... My main lie?

I'm keeping this one...

[neale]

No, it's true, old Ducatis and Triumphs are reliable.

[Coff 06]

I'll drink less,enough to make the payments          Coff 06

[skunk]

Naw, I like the color, I won't ever paint it!!!!!!

I like the stock pipes

[Namvet]

"I'm gonna leave it stock."

[Gunnut]

"That's a good looking Hionda."

[RoadKingTrooper]

"Think of the money I'll save on gas"

"These new pipes will make it safer because other drivers can hear me"

" The new cams will make it safer to pass"

[Jamo]

How about the classified ad that was floating around the internet a few years ago...  Brand new crotch rocket for sale, hardly any miles, and it finished up with saying "apparantly, do whatever the F**K you want..." doesn't mean the same thing anymore....

[Dresser]

I looked for parts. I didn't even notice the wet t-shirt contest.

[Dennis The Menace]

Dude, nice bike!

I'll only be gone an hour

No, I didnt buy anything at the dealer

[76shuvlinoff]

They all do that.

[sfarson]

"I don't even see that scratch"

"That'll buff out"

[dablaze]

"A little closer, so you won't fall off"

Craig

[bubtrauma]

Honey If we buy a new bike YOU can choose the colour.

[Panzer]

Hun, I'm only gone to look around and get oil and a filter, trust me.

That one even makes me laugh

[fasthog62]

TRUST ME

[texaskatfish]

"Officer why did you pull me over?"

"But Judge I SWEAR she told me she was 18!"

"Yes I just noticed that plate / insp sticker / insurance was expired before I left this morning"

"When did they lower this speed limit?"

[Coyote]

I'm from the MOCO and I'm here to help you!

[02roadcling]

I love you.

[Flat Dog]

Of course I have a permit for it!

[~JC~]

Of course I'll love you in the morning.

[RVGRG]

"I think it's stock"
"it was this way when I bought it"
"I missed 2 shifts, thought for sure you would catch me"
"wow that thing is fast"

[Kuda]

Dunno if it qualifies, but every person who comes up to me when I stop on the pan and tells me their father/mother/brother/uncle/cousin/friend had one REALLY DID, then there'd be sh-tload more pans out there than the MOCO ever made...

-Kuda (I'm just sayin'...) 
'49 panchop

[4DWUDS]

It ran when I parked it.
Just needs a little TLC

[Lakerat]

"Sorry officer, I guess that new front tire threw off my speedometer"

[djl]

"You're right, the Deuce really isn't the right bike for two up touring. What we need is a second bike, a touring model. Wadaya think?  No, don't need a new one, let's get an older model, spend a little on upgrades, like new tires, new brakes and we are good to go."

Six months later the '02 FLHT is 107", Axtell Mountain motor, Hoban crank, TW32Gs, Rinehart TDs, DTT ignintion, CV44 carb, Dewey's Pro-Street heads and of course, new tires and brakes.

[hdjax2]

One time I told a cop "Officer, my throttle was stuck and I got scared so I let go of the clutch"   

[Rags722]

"Inspections expired officer?  How can that be, I had the shop inspect it when they put the new tire on... they must have forgot to put the sticker on"

Actually, that one got me a warning ticket instead of a fine...and a quick trip to the shop for an inspection.

"It will run much cooler with the new cams and exhaust"

[mapboy]

"Yeah, honey, the dealer has a winter time special.  They'll pick it up and drop it off for free.  I'm getting the fluids changed."

They were to pick it up while I was out of town.  Little did I know, someone (the wife) had to sign the work order at pick-up time.

Wife:  "DO YOU KNOW HOW FRIGGIN' MUCH THAT OIL CHANGE COST?!?!?!"

I had to fess up about the big bore kit and cams. . . . . . .

[sfarson]

Great ones!


"We'll get there waaaay before dark."

[shoveled71]

I dont know how that extra helmet got in the saddlebags, the footpegs must have vibrated down, you know how these old shovels vibrate, thats why you like it. Spike

[the Grump]

"I'm just gonna take it for a test ride."

[aquaman]

"I didn't spend too much money on the motor.  I got everything(lie) really cheap from the swap meet on HTT!"

[verson22]

She's a one kicker!  (Ya just never know which one)

[kik]

I got tired of hauling my wife on the back. I told my wife that she needed to take the safety course and get her license. It was in case something happened to me while we were out on the road, at least she could take the bike and not be stuck. I had her on her own bike with in 2 months after passing the course.

Now I told her that the bagger is just too heavy to run through town all the time. I told her I'd like to keep it for long road trips and find a lighter one for scooting round town. I get to look for one for Christmas.

[LilEvilAmy]

"How fast can it be - it's just a girl's bike?"   

[JamLazyAss]

I wasn't there.
Must have been a bike that just looked like mine...

[autoworker]

"RARE"100th year anniversary model

[motorplex88]

 "Gettin a title will not be a problem"

[texaskatfish]

"How fast can it be - it's just a girl's bike?"   

Amy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMEN!

I've sure seen many a 'heavier / slower' bike make a 'lighter / faster' on lQQk pretty bad!!!

OHâ,,¢ and so this aint a thread hijack............

"This will only hurt for a secondb       

[crazybastid83]

No hun, I didn't change the pipes, those are the ones I always had.

[Beerad]

Hold my beer and watch this.
That's going to leave a mark.

[surf]

We're not goin far.

[jumpinjack]

 Nah ,it`s not going to rain.

It`s a good deal i got it on e-bay.

My bud took it off his EG  he didn`t want it any more.

I can`t mow the lawn until it dries up for a day.

Jack :

[Deye76]

Wife on first ride in the spring..."did you do something to this bike over the winter? it seems faster!"

Answer: No sweetheart, you must have lost some weight

[HDSlicer1]

You had a solo seat on there yesterday!

[sfarson]

"Aren't you hot wearing that?"  No, I'm fine.

"Aren't you freezing?"  No, I'm fine.

[BART]

"At my age this is the last motorcycle I'll ever have to buy".

[Snussy]

I can't ride 55 !!!

[FastFLSTF]

"That'll buff right out."

[Flat Dog]

These speakers make my scooter stereo louder.

[CraigArizona85248]

Dunno if it qualifies, but every person who comes up to me when I stop on the pan and tells me their father/mother/brother/uncle/cousin/friend had one REALLY DID, then there'd be sh-tload more pans out there than the MOCO ever made...

OH man!  You aren't kidding.  I hear that all the time.  LOL   

[apes]

Loud pipes make the bike go faster

[Flat Dog]

This flame job makes me look younger.

LEDs are cool!

[jmorton10]

I'm going to leave this one all stock.........

I know better than to try telling my wife that one anymore...  I did amaze her a tiny bit when I bought a brand new 04 RK & after making that stupid statement she came home when I had 280 miles on it & found the entire engine in pieces on the garage floor...

~John

[88-LA-Z-Boy]

"Don't worry, I'll go slow . . ."

"Now to make sure you don't throw off the handling, since this is your first ride on this bike, you have to make sure your all pressed up against my back, holding on around my waist and whichever way we lean, look over that shoulder . . ."

"Officer, I just fixed this thing and just wanted to, you know, make sure it was running right, thats why I was going a little fast. . ."

[ST40]

Sure I told her to hold on tight!    Didn't you notice how hard the wind was blowing?     

[Panzer]

What, that chrome part there, nah, it didn't cost much at all.

[odotb]

1. My motorcycle is paid for.

2. I won this trophy.

3. I really was, just trying to get that goat out of the fence.

[smittyon66]

To a female passenger who's new to motorcycling:

"It's just like riding a horse. Put your arms around my waist and hang on to the saddlehorn."

[97dyna]

I'll sell the old take-off parts in the garage and pay for this new chrome piece.

[Scooterfish]

Dealer talk


Thats normal, they all do it.


Thats the first time I have heard that.

[Thumbjuice]

Real soon babe....It's only this far on the map...

[skunk]

Anything that follows " Now I'm here to tell ya, This ain't no Bull Sh**"

[Ken R]

Safety, honey.  

I need this new (chrome thing, fill in the blank) for increased safety!

[Tre_11 FLHX]

Not sure this qualifies but had to share:
How many of you have been out with the crew riding, you leave at 0800 in the morning and return well after dinner(with beer on your breath). OL asks "where have you been all day"  Your reply is; we got lost.  Four years ago, my OL got tired of that excuse and bought me a GPS I tell all my buds, that was my plan all along :wink:Now I have to use the ran out of gas, buds throttle cable broke or had a flat etc... Yes I do have problems!

Mike

[fatboydan]

y'all slow down ,I can't read this fast ...   


"look at how much thicker this seat is than the stock one,its bound to be more comfortable"

[ElPaso 52]

After locking the rear brake and crashing-"I had to lay it down"

[smittyon66]

After locking the rear brake and crashing-"I had to lay it down"

If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that one....

[Flat Dog]

I've been riding Harleys all my life!

[Panzer]

The burn by your ankle from the pipe won't leave a scar, "trust me".

[RootOfAllEVO]

From personal experience:

"Ya, the MSO will come in the mail two to three days after the (INSERT AS APPROPRIATE: transmission, frame, short block, etc. ) arrives.

And another, I'm afraid:

"Owning a Harley will help our marriage because we can go riding together"

[Flat Dog]

Sure we have it in stock, and it will ship today!

[FirstHD]

No its not for show!! Every accessory and add on serves a purpose!

[ICANTD55]

I know how to get back to the hotel ,follow me.

I know a guy that works on bikes, he's the best !!!

The parts are still on back order.

I promise I wont do it again .

I just like the chicken wings at Hooters,, Really.

I think I am finally done with the bike.

[Faast Ed]

The 204's really need some headwork since we are both heavy people. I'll just take that for my birthday present. (didn't get anything else either.  )

cling

She let you live after saying that? And let you get the headwork too?   She's a keeper!

[Faast Ed]

"Owning a Harley will help our marriage because we can go riding together"

That one is actually (partially) true in my household.
It "helps our marriage" because it gets me out of the house (and leaves her to have some space). I'm okay with that. (as is she).  It works!

[Scooterfish]

Honey thats wrong,  NO way I have been on HTT   77 hrs this month

[GC Super]

But Honey, if I go ahead and buy the screaming eagle bike, I'll never have to spend another dime on it cause it has everything.

[gtmalone]

Buying this used bike will save us about 10K and it already has a lot of bling.  I can't think of anything I'll have to add.  The tires still have about half of the tread, too. 

Oh, yeah - that's pretty much the line I used.

[HDSlowride]

I don't know why it sounds different.

I was just askin' her where her old man was.

She has new ta-tas? I didn't notice.

We'll be right back.

We'll just go have a look at one to see the new colors.

We could always get a Honda, I suppose. More horsepower and all.

I'll stop everytime you want to.

Just four more miles (substitute 10, 25, 100)

I'm pretty sure it's down this road.

I'll just have one, then we'll go.

[Partsman64]

Wife-"I thought you said that would be it after you installed the 95" and the new wheels?!!!"

Me- "No Babe, I said that would be it for the BIG parts....................

[Hawg Holler]

No, I have no desire for a brand new Harley, I've finally got my (insert year model here) just the way I want it.

[02roadcling]

Faast Ed
yep, she let me live, lol. It sure aint her typing for me, didnt chop off my pinkies yet lol

[moose]

no honey it's the same fatboy I just added a fairing bags and tour pack.


moose

[fxrp]

Synthetic oil is tooooo slippery for roller bearings

Synthetic oil will void your warranty

The oil passages in the TC are tooooo small and synthetic oil will clog the passages
(at Sturgis/Rapid City Civic Center by an HD Tech just before SYN3 came out)

You can't bore cylinders, they'll overheat and cease up

You can't bore cylinders because of porosity problems

[sfarson]

Thanks for the great "fibs" everyone.

Proud to know you all!

[justlearning6]

great motorcycle lies.

   the repairs aren't that exspensive.

   it will only take a few hours to install it.

  so easy anyone could do it

sorry i only got the one helmet..

[Jeffd]

I hate to say it but the biggest lie is "it's a harley it will keeps its value!"
The only motorcycle that I have owned that really kept its value was a KLR650.  I rode it for 2 years and sold it for $500 less than I paid for it new.

[76shuvlinoff]

Fast,

Your "buff right out" pic makes me get all sentimental and Christmasy.

  "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...."

[rkdrifter]

                    Honey,    The money we save on  gas will pay for the bike !!!                                                                                 

[Killer]

Don’t worry about the oil.. It’ll wash out.

Relax, the road will straighten out.

No honey, if you do this, I wont think of you any differently…

[RootOfAllEVO]

Another pair of personal favorites:

"It will quit smoking like that once the new piston rings get seated"

And:

"I fixed the broken speedo cable right away, it probably only had 100 miles put on it"

[Glenn W]

"The money I'll save on gas will pay for the bike!" *

*possibly, but not the leathers, insurance, gloves, tickets......................................

[Showdog75]

Your bike seems louder , no honey the factory packing finally blew out of the muffler .
I bought this thing so cheap I'm sure I'll double my money .

[Justpassingas]

 Remember when sex was safe and Harleys were dangerous...

[panheaddreamer58]

What do you mean officer, not DOT approved?

[dirtbike_pgr]

officer i swear its a legal DOT helmet...

see this little sticker on the back....

[mayor]

I really was, just trying to get that goat out of the fence.

boy, if I had a nickel for evertime I used that one.   


the one I use, "it's only a five minute job." 

[FastFLSTF]

Fast,

Your "buff right out" pic makes me get all sentimental and Christmasy.

  "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...."

lol

[Phu Cat]

And I thought I was being original when I told a lot of them!

PC

[Killer]

Really officer, I didn’t realize how fast I was going, I was just trying to catch-up with my buddy. (really used it).

[Rugby_fxdwg]

I am going for just a quick ride and I should be back in one or two hours...See you tonight babe!

[04deuce]

you guys crack me up....... I just used one an hour ago, I told my wife ''I'm only going around the block'' and was back in an 1/2 hour

[wsmallri]

Yessir,
Your bike repair will be done tomorrow afternoon...

[JamLazyAss]

Not only that, but I won't even have to buy any new tools either !!!

[Phu Cat]

I told my wife ''I'm only going around the block'' and was back in an 1/2 hour

Sure got back quick. 
Good boy.  Sit.  Stay.

PC

[Dresser]

I always buy my cigarettes at the liqour store!

[gtmalone]

Sweetie, if WE get the detachable sissy bar and bag hardware it will be just like having a second motorcycle but for only a few hundred dollars.  See how different it looks?  I won't have to spend time unbolting the bags to wash it either.

I think if her eyes rolled up any futher they would have got stuck.